I speak whale too!

Today, we got back our zoology tests so we could see our grades. One of the questions asked how we were supposed to tell the difference between a living animal and a dead animal. I couldn't remember the answer so I wrote "Poke it." Full credit was awarded. MLIA

Today, my friend gave me money she owed me. Instead of handing it to me, she put it in a random book in the library and texted me the title. I felt like a secret agent. MLIA

Today, I was babysitting a 3 year-old. She took me to her room and began naming off all of her stuffed animals - Fluffy the cat, Woofy the dog, and - of course - Horny the unicorn. She still can't figure out why I was laughing so hard. MLIA

I  live in Australia and have a friend on facebook who lives in New York. Today I left a comment on her page and afterwards she informed me that the time stamp on the comment said 'tomorrow'. This excited me so I proceeded to spam her page with messages from the future. MLIA.

Today, I realised that my shampoo is the color of blood, and I made bloody handprints on the wall. Remembering that my parents didnt know I was home, I made a mini murder scene in the shower. My mom screamed loud enough to wake the neighbors. MLIA

Today at school, in IT class we were working with CDs. I always sit at the same computer and it has never let me down before, so you can imagine my surprise when the disc tray didn't open. My teacher told me to just move to another seat. I, being loyal, refused.I fiddled with the tray until it opened, it had a 20 dollar bill folded inside. Loyalty is clearly appreciated by Microsoft. MLIA

Thanks to Bryce I have found my new favourite website.
Screw FML, MLIA is so much more awesome.